my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
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