Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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