it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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