you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
