We're like a lot better than the average bears
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
