I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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