I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
