LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
