If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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