He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
