Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.

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(406): View more from Montana

We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.

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(410): View more from Maryland

He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.

(1-410): View more from Maryland

True romance of the 21st century.

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(925): View more from California

These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it

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(513): View more from Ohio

Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.

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(858): View more from California

I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life

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