I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This is my gift to your gina
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
