Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
