We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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