So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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