Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
