i think my tv is drunk
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
