When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize