how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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