i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
