you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
