i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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