ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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