dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
