Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
