do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
