i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
