dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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