I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
