im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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