I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
someone threw a dead crab at me
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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