yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
