Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
