I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
