I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
