butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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