oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
This house was built for laser tag.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize