I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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