I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
