At least make sure they are 18
Why
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
