Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
