Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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