Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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