he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
