If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
BRING THE BAGELS
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
