U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You took a bar mat shot.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
