i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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