Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
