How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
