Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
