who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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