So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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