did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
