Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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