Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize