Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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