? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
