What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
